Who am I, that...

Exodus 3:11

¹¹ But Moses said to God, "Who am I, that I should go to Pharaoh and bring the Israelites out of Egypt?"

What a day! After dealing with some legal issues, I can feel anger kindle within me. I don't like this feeling, this kind of energy. I don't like feeling quite THIS human. I want to let go and forget. I want to move on. But these issues will hover around for a bit, and the anger will come and go until the matter is closed.

It is in these moments of anger and frustration that my own humanness is so very apparent to me. I feel like a failure for not being able to simply "rise above" it all. I feel sad that I don't feel good. I feel smaller than I want to feel.

When God called upon Moses to lead the people of Israel out of Egypt, he didn't jump up and down for joy - he didn't feel "at last, I've been recognized!" Instead he thought, why me? Why wouldn't God choose my brother instead, who is more eloquent? I am small...

There are those few days in life when we feel deserving of the good things we receive, or to which we are called. There are more days when we feel unworthy, ashamed and like we are less than we ought to be.

Today, I am thankful that God finds worthiness and value in me when I don't feel very worthwhile or valuable.